As motivated as I am nearing the “graduation” of Dave Ramsey’s baby steps, I fear that the morning after our last mortgage payment is made, I’m going to wake up and say,
“Okay, now what?”
I’m anxious. As much as I hate to admit it, that’s what I’m feeling. At the root of it all, I feel inferior.
Feeling inferior is something I have struggled with for as long as I can remember, and improvement is a very slow progression. My preference of living a very private life is largely due to, quite plainly, being afraid of what people think. My blog and my Instagram have helped me express my views less fearfully; still I hesitate and overthink before posting even behind the mask of a fake name.
But, here I am, 28 years old and the definition of what most common people would view as “successful,” yet I feel inferior about what I want versus what I feel I am capable of obtaining.
In the last eight months or so, I have become obsessed with the idea of financial freedom – more specifically, financial independence. The reason for my clarification is that there is a large community of people who are working toward “financial freedom,” mainly by working toward paying off their ridiculous amount of debt.
This goal is great. If you have tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, this is a huge goal. Add being 30-60 years old at the start of this goal to the equation, and considering financial freedom to be just freedom from debt is more understandable.
This is not my situation, and after years of being a devoted, kool-aid drinking, almost religious follower of Dave Ramsey, I’m feeling a little lost. I am 28 and my house will be paid off when I am 29. I have followed the steps like the good girl I am. Now that it is time to leave the nest of Daddy Dave, I feel like a 17 year old whose parents have not trained her for the real world.
Baby Step 7: Build Wealth and Give! Simple as that. Now it is my responsibility to devise my own plan.
To prepare, I am reading more books, listening to more podcasts, watching more documentaries and observing people more than I ever have before. And I believe this is what is making me afraid. Now that I know that it is possible for me to make success happen, I feel lost as how to make it happen. Analysis paralysis?
I do not want to be an employee. I do not even want to “work”. I want passive income. To go further, and for some reason I’m a little uncomfortable saying this, I want a lot of it and fast. Sticking money in retirement accounts to hopefully grow to a couple million when I’m 65 is no longer good enough.
I’m overthinkingly anxious, but I will not allow fear to force me to give up. It’s time to see what I can do.